The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book about principles. It’s about adjusting our behaviour so that we no longer self-sabotage but instead behave in alignment with our goals.

“You take an inventory of all that you believe, all your agreements, and through this process you begin the transformation.”

The Four Agreements delivers a message in such an easy to read way, you might miss how profound the message is. Ruiz describes how who we are, is a combination of our longest held beliefs. He views the beliefs we hold as “dreams” because there is nothing real about them, only that we have agreed with ourselves, that they are real. 

“The difference is that you are no longer innocent. When you were a child this was not true; you didn’t have a choice. But you are no longer a child. Now it’s up to you to choose what to believe and what not to believe. You can choose to believe in any-thing, and that includes believing in yourself.”

Ruiz describes that it is our responsibility to be conscious of what we believe. To ‘garden the mind’ and select beliefs that are in alignment with our goals and values. Here is a trap that may put most people off - it’s not that thinking “I am strong, courageous and rich” will bring those things. It’s that having a mindset that supports your ambitions does just that - supports them. We are more likely to take action which will result in the things we desire, than if we had beliefs and mindsets which held us back. You can think about it like setting the direction of your ship before you drop the sails and start moving. 

“The angel of death comes to us and says, “You see everything that exists here is mine; it is not yours. Your house, your spouse, your children, your car, you career, your money - everything is mine and i can take it away when I want to go, but for now you can use it.””

Here, Ruiz presents the idea that everything we hold onto now is temporary. “Nothing lasts forever” my mum says. Although we can easily see the sombre side of things, it’s important to realise and celebrate all that we have, here, in the now. It’s not a given. 

On the journey to be and have more - I often find myself totally forgetting all the blessings I have already. A strong and healthy body. Friends and family who love and support me. A peaceful home that keeps me warm and dry. Skills and knowledge I can leverage to provide value to others. How trivial everything else seems when you consider how important these basics are. Ironically, we spend most of our time - focusing on all that which we don’t have, despite it being far less important. 

“We can begin each day by saying, “I am awake, I see the sun. I am going to give my gratitude to the sun and to everything and everyone, because I am still alive. One more day to be myself.” 

Much like taking the things and people in our lives for granted, we can also take our own life for granted. We consider our lives precious but what do we do with that preciousness? Are we living aligned with our goals and values? Do we chase the superficial? I think we often confuse the symbol of success with success itself. Money, status and influence are the results of putting in the work. It’s the latter that brings satisfaction in our lives that in turn, allows us to enjoy those things.  

The Four Agreements is really easy to read. So much so that you might miss the deceptively simple wisdom stored inside. It’s a great place to start for anyone wanting to learn about how their mindset effects their behaviour and how to change it.