“Money is the root of all evil.” I’ve heard twice since I started writing this article. Both coming from people very dear to me. Both not where they want to be financially. Our words have extreme power. You should guard what comes out of your mouth like a sentinel. There are no jokes when it comes to our words. If you are reading this and thinking “what is this mystical BS” then I feel you. I hate it too when people explain stuff but saying “it’s unexplainable” or something related to “chakras or energy.” So, here’s the practical lowdown:

When we say something, we believe it – just a tiny bit, but we believe it. Words spoken over the course of a lifetime – they become our reality. Lots of 0.0001% added together eventually equal 100%. What’s more; every action we take has momentum, it speeds us up in the direction we are headed. If we do something once, we become more likely to do it again – and this snowballs. Think how easy it is to brush your teeth in the morning because you do it every day.

When it comes to money, I don’t know many people who don’t have a conflicted relationship with it. If you want to improve that relationship, I recommend you read Jen Sincero’s: You Are A Badass At Making Money. It will make you:

1. Make you question how you talk about money

2. Show you how that influences your results/reality

3. Shows you how to change for the better

Here are my key quote and takeaways from reading it. I hope reading this article gives you a better of whether you would benefit from reading the book.

How do you Talk About Money?

“Not a day goes by where we don’t use money, or use something that was paid for with money, or have an experience that is somehow connected to money. Not. One. Single. Day. Money’s in the roads we drive on, the food we eat, the music we listen to, the freedom we enjoy, the adventures we have, the babies we birth, the showers we take, the poems we write, the nose we blow-it’s everywhere, like dust or temptation or hormones in high schoolers. And yet we rarely, if ever, stop to investigate how we feel about money, how we speak about it, or even what the hell money actually is.”

- Jen Sincero

If I was to give a reason why talking about money is taboo, it is because somehow, we incorrectly equate our self-worth with money. There’s going to be a lot of money talk in this article but one thing that we mustn’t do is confuse how much money we have with how much we are worth as people. If that is stopping you, young grasshopper, then how will you hope to learn more from the masters before you. If your friends are earning more than you, that doesn’t mean they are better people. It just means they might know how to think and talk about money better than you. Luckily this is something we can learn.

“Snobbery works in both directions-if you’re rich, thinking you’re better than those who aren’t is as equally lame as being broke and thinking you’re better than those who are rich.”

- Jen Sincero

How many times have I heard friends or family (and by extension myself – remembering we are the average of the people we spend the most time with) see a nice house, car, clothes and start making assumptions about how that person must have done some kind of evil in order to have it. Have you ever though that there might be people worse off than you, doing the same thing when they see you? The moral of the analogy is that we are all people. In our heads we are doing the best we can with what we’ve got. Judging someone who appears to be better off than you is the same as saying to your subconscious “I don’t want to be like that.” The result is: you won’t have that.

 

How your Language Influences your Results

“When you don’t investigate what’s going on with your words, thoughts, and beliefs, you risk stumbling through life on autopilot. You may, for example, automatically assume that your beliefs are founded in your own truths  rather than perhaps the truths of your parents and/or the people around you.”

- Jen Sincero

Who we hang around with plays a huge influence on what we believe. When we’re kids, we learn what is possible from our family. Later, our beliefs are reinforced by our friends. Like Sincero says, we need to take stock of what we believe; not just about money but also about relationships, success, self-worth as well as what is possible for us to achieve in our lives. The power to use reason and decide for ourselves is more than a necessity, it’s our right.

“What comes out of your mouth comes into your life.”

- Jen Sincero

My key takeaways of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is that, we must be akin to gatekeepers when we use our language. This is why I no longer gel with the self-depreciating humour which is popular in the UK. Growing up there, I picked it up as a kid. When I would go back to visit my home country Bulgaria – the jokes didn’t land. People didn’t get why I would talk-down on myself.

How many times do you talk-down on yourself by using language that doesn’t make you feel like the hero of your life?

• I’m old

• I’m broke

• I’m dumb

Will speaking the opposite magically make it come true? I don’t think so, not unless it’s backed up by action. But here’s the thing; speaking the opposite is more likely to get you to take action. I think we eventually fool ourselves into believing we are those things, but by then – it’s no longer just words, it’s our reality. If that sounds too mystical, then I can take it a step more fundamental. I assume you want to be rich, right? Is then, choosing to feel confident about money helping or hindering the process? Everything we do is either moving us towards our goals or away from them.  Either way you are choosing. Doesn’t it make sense to choose what is in alignment with the end goal?  

How to Upgrade your Money Mindset

“And to do a whole lotta stuff you’ve never done before. Especially stuff that scares the living crap out of you and hurls you outside your comfort zone. When it comes to changing your life, if you’re not scared, you’re doing something wrong.”

- Jen Sincero

I remember when people asked me how it was now that I am running my own business. I used to tell them it was like:

“AAAAAAAAAAAA I’M RUNNING MY OWN BUSINESS!!?!!!!!!”

Imagine a baby eagle jumping from it’s nest for the first time, preparing for flight. It’s scary. Suddenly, it’s YOU that is responsible for making money come from somewhere. As scary at it is, it’s also a beautiful feeling to fly.

If you are reading this and thinking: “Man, my beliefs, thoughts and language about money have been really bad, for a long time.” You are in exactly the right place. Change is scary. Like Sincero says, it’s supposed to be. If your first instinct is to reject everything said so far, then it’s really hit you hard. Some big boy cogs have started spinning in your head and there is no going back.

“When you succumb to fear, you are under the illusion that you can predict the future.”

- Jen Sincero

We don’t get a second chance in life to make it how we want it. We get to ride this rollercoaster once. Aren’t you curious to keep asking life for more, to find out where the maximum of what life is willing to offer you is?

“Your job is to master the art of responding, aka being response-able for, and aware of, your thoughts and actions. Your job is to short-circuit your knee-jerk instinct to react, which will keep you playing the same tired old low-frequency patterns you’ve been lugging around your whole life.”

- Jen Sincero

Now that you get the power your words have over your results, you’ll begin to notice every time you bad mouth money and push it away from you. You’ll also see it in other people. What positive examples in your life could you use as affirmations that you have a good relationship with money? Do you have a roof over your head, a meal each day or a fancy car/computer?

Conclusion

Something that might be lacking from this articles format is the ability to see the friendly, down-to-earth and approachable tone Sincero uses in her book. She was often able to get a laugh out of me and at the same time make me feel supported. I feel like my learning has only just started.

“One of the best ways to find out about how you truly feel about money is to write a letter to it as if it were a person.”

- Jen Sincero

Jen advices a good next step is to write a letter to money. Let’s show each other that we’re not the only ones who could upgrade their money language by writing our letters in the comments. I’ll start.

If you want a way to support my work, consider buying the book from my affiliate link.